for some reason im becoming increasingly sensitive of my environment, shapes, colours texture movement sound motion etc which has positives and negatives - i can feel a hostile presence. i dunno, its like an animal instinct, a paranoia of everything from the uncomfortable volume in someone's voice to the rough painful texture on the street. just generally scared... aware of personal attacks. but also open to oppotunity. i had an urge to jump onto the tracks at the station just out of curiousity became so strong i had to walk away and stand near a group of people out of safety. i wanted to grab my surgical knife just to run the colour of my blood. i can feel a physical push against my body at all times, making my muscles sensitive and slightly tingley. and my head feels at peace, very content but extremely cloudly and heavy at the same time. its not like a panic attack. but it feels siblinged, as if the two belong alongside of each other. much more comprehensible than normality and panic. i wanna know what brought this on.. or maybe i'm just waking up to the world finally.. out of some form of numbness.