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~meth

since 2006, not 2001

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just documenting

Sun Jan 18, 2009, 1:10 PM

for some reason im becoming increasingly sensitive of my environment, shapes, colours texture movement sound motion etc which has positives and negatives - i can feel a hostile presence. i dunno, its like an animal instinct, a paranoia of everything from the uncomfortable volume in someone's voice to the rough painful texture on the street. just generally scared... aware of personal attacks. but also open to oppotunity. i had an urge to jump onto the tracks at the station just out of curiousity became so strong i had to walk away and stand near a group of people out of safety. i wanted to grab my surgical knife just to run the colour of my blood. i can feel a physical push against my body at all times, making my muscles sensitive and slightly tingley. and my head feels at peace, very content but extremely cloudly and heavy at the same time. its not like a panic attack. but it feels siblinged, as if the two belong alongside of each other. much more comprehensible than normality and panic. i wanna know what brought this on.. or maybe i'm just waking up to the world finally.. out of some form of numbness.

2 Comments

Mood: Tense

all my friends are dead

Nov 30, 2008, 4:35:10 PM by ~meth
Journals / Personal

_{i seriously wanna get back into this site.
i miss communicating with other arty types and spending hours viewing people's entire galleries.
it really is a brilliant place and i don't know why i've strayed really.
i've learnt more from this site and members of this community than tutors, books and friends (artisically i mean..) and i can really feel the quality in my work slipping because of my absence here.

my new aim to post something everyday, even the days i'm only home for a few hours.

me stuff
yakno whats REALLY WEIRD? i'm enjoying this christmas.. ok well no but i'm content with it..
i thank barack obama. i am cured of my uncessecary anger. ahhh hope n change.

oh and i went in my first fancy boutique the other day and have never been looked at so negatively in my life. I LOVED IT. plus it had been raining (typical manchester) and my hood was up and the clerk.. clerkess..? woman looked at me like i was gunna deficate in a gucci bag.

me n a mate saw the lead singer of The Feeling shopping whilst we were in the vintage cafe in Afflecks and my mate couldn't keep the fact of how shit they were under her breath and I think she hurt his feelings.. HA feeling.. feelings...

i've also fallen in love..

...with the black couch at the cornerhouse... [link]
that couch'll love ya better than a woman.

for christmas i would like to be able to enjoy chicken again, seriously why did it have to be a gross corpse? why not a vegetable. god, its not like im asking for world peace or ..universal love.. just chickens to be vegetables. oh and also a new xbox.

an xbox that tasted like chicken, fuck me that'd be lovely. i could have it with peppers and eat/play it on my black couch whilst worshipping Obama. mariah carey should sing a song about that instead.

bedtime i think.

anyone want me to look at their galleries just say n i'll be there. wanna be more active.}

23 Comments

Mood: Tired
Listening to: the slackers - LIVE AT ERNESTOS

predicted hangover tuesday

Oct 28, 2008, 5:02:47 PM by ~meth
Journals / Personal

[link]

wanted to catch em year before last in Newcastle with The Unseen but they sold out, the tickets that is.

I was gunna do looooads of new stuff, seriously. then I got ill.

yakno those uncontrolable laughing fits? had one after Brad Pitt gets punched on "Burn After Reading". just one of those natural impulses.

sorry i don't have anything interesting to say other than im gunna do some tutorials soon, proper ones .. not "how to create an eclipse - oooooooo" ones. ok, I may do one how to create an eclipse tutorial. ps. it involves going to google image search and getting an eclipse.

I'LL BE BACK!!! feel kinda bad comin on ere with my no point journals with nuthin to back it up....

7 Comments

Mood: Tired
Watching: the daily show

ok nevermind

Oct 18, 2008, 2:30:59 PM by ~meth
Journals / Personal

I decided with being busy and inactive from the site I would "give" the account to someone who wanted it, but I reckon I need that non-initiated work to keep me sane - 'cus if I only ever work with briefs im gonna.. well, go insane.

plus now I have a reasonably ok computer and a scanner and a printer and a shit load of acetate so woooooooooo here i go.

OH I saw the coolest anti-scientology protesters in town today hording (is that a word?) around a scientology demonstration, gotta love manchester on a saturday, they were basically just dancing around in masks...

though what's with religious people thinking scientologists are "weird"?

5 Comments

Mood: Pain

METH account name going, anyone interested?

Oct 17, 2008, 2:34:13 PM by ~meth
Journals / Personal

Quite a few people have commented on liking my account name, anyone interested in taking over this account?

Let me know.

6 Comments

Mood: Scared

lately

Sep 18, 2008, 3:49:48 AM by ~meth
Journals / Personal

moved into my new house in innuh citaay manchesturr and my jacket already reaks of cigerettes, vodka and weed. don't have net yet. can you believe we could only find ONE pizza shop in manchester city centre at 4am??

3 Comments

Mood: Peaceful
Listening to: construction noises

isn't it ironic

Aug 11, 2008, 8:02:43 PM by ~meth
Journals / Personal

I was having sex with my mother and was like "this would probably feel better had I not been born..."

i'm going through a break up this summer so i'll probably be back here to be all .. "arty" about it. or crying in a pub somewhere with a man who will most definitely have better facial hair than me.

& i've been thinking about death a lot lately. well.. not death, it's more nihilistic than that. I told my friend about how i'd suffered from nihilism and its weird just how hard it is to explain it out loud to someone. i won't bother doing it again..
and it's also really fucking irritating having to talk about your current problems in the past tense cus you're surrounded by people, not friends.

anyway that's all.

ps. cat, maybe this'll explain why i haven't replied as fast as I usually do, ha...

editediteditedit: just been browsing around the site and saying thanks to all the +favers and watchers and I feel better. maybe I just need to properly get back into things. going without art makes me loooopy.. and a little bit emo..

_{I watch her eyes like a TV set
as she connects me to the outlet
the soft admission of cold electric into my veins
it's like a ripe and reddening sunset

_{ahhhh iwantsomedrugs!}}

15 Comments

Mood: Distressed
Listening to: sundowner
Watching: everybody haaaates chrissss
Playing: ^ only tv title that must always be sung
Eating: oh except maybe the simpsons

tshirt art available for remix

Jul 7, 2008, 11:35:38 AM by ~meth
Journals / Personal

_{someone's bound to be interested in this..
[link]}</blockquote>

No Comments

Mood: uNF!

happy independenenence (yester)day

Jul 4, 2008, 4:37:34 PM by ~meth
Journals / Personal

present from the pond. or across it. well not the pond, the atlantic ocean.. it's an expression.

i'm not drunk...

[link]

"we don't dream in great britain. WE DON'T. there's no British dream"

5 Comments

Mood: Humor

new work

Jul 3, 2008, 11:33:08 AM by ~meth
Journals / Personal

.. Doesn't exist.

_{well it does.
but at the moment it's floating in space.

I can't believe it's been over 3 months since I last uploaded.
I wanna say I've been busy, but I haven't.
I can't believe it's under 3 months 'till I get outa here.
friends are all "oh, but you'll be back?" n I struggle with finding a polite version of "OH FUCK NO!" 'least I'm honest..
I don't really worry about them because I'm more concerned about leaving my girlfriend..
I'm gonna stop this paragraph before it gets all sensitive.

I'm at a weird point in my life atm 'cus I'm trying to figure out how to balance my personal artwork and my design work which often compare quite differently.. I don't want to produce all this "slick, trendy & corporate" design but I also don't wanna go OTT on the grunge-mixed-media. so. will see how I manage that. fine art students don't know how easily they've got it, graphic design is definitely one of the more difficult areas of A&D. I keep getting tempted to switch courses out of simplicity..

I've also noticed just how freekin HUGE the British art scene is, yah kinda slow.. I mean it's good, but I also want to be noticed.. I've never really worried about stuff like this before because it's all been about myself, a hobby with freelance work. but this past year the phrase "you may not make it" seems to be appearing everywhere, at exhibitions, at design events and even in books.. it got a friend of mine really down and I think it's rubbed off on me a lil bit. guess it wouldn't be as fun if there wasn't all the nerves and the fear though.

Two of us were travelling on a train home from an art talk a few weeks ago >>[link] << surrounded by loadsa other design nerds getting all philosophical and shit. he was all down and bummed out n I was tryna boost his ego whilst doubting my own in the back of my head. plus the actual place was packed out, I musta touched quite a few arses at drinks after the talk cus there was so many of us there. that and I'm a pervert. I was staring at all these people like "there's my compotition" and thats just in NEWCASTLE. shit. nevermind Manchester..

OH and WTF?! we totally had the same problem as this dude >[link]when finding the event. WHO PUTS THE NAME ON THE ROOF?!? is what I screamed. oh I screamed. I was all wet 'cus it was pissing it down and we were lost and running around the city centre. my hood kept falling down so my hair got wet and I wear baggy jeans so they were seeping with dirty street water and bah..
yakno was kinda like parkour but completely on the ground with wet grumpy british people running around like there was another invasion due... hmm.. maybe not like parkour. then we asked for directions literally next to the freekin' building! .. *calm down, it's over now*.

I like art talks 'cus you're among people who care as much as you do, well that's till about 30 mins thru when certain areas begin to numb and then I'm all "please end before my ass falls off..." LOL eww. gay joke, nevermind..

I've been getting more immersed in the scene though (not the gay one), which I'm happy about. I guess you sometimes miss that when it's just a hobby. Art has litterally become my life these past two years so I'm taking it a lot more seriously than before.

....

I've finished college and I was awarded best of my class aww yeah. with this added free time (that should be spent earning money, but won't be) I should get back into deviantart.}

2 Comments

Mood: Questionable
Watching: http://youtube.com/watch?v=Rcx4_CszaDI

damn

Jun 24, 2008, 10:04:12 AM by ~meth
Journals / Personal

[link]

"I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it"

5 Comments

Mood: Triumph
Listening to: ^ wont change....

brb & links edit

May 7, 2008, 6:55:04 AM by ~meth
Journals / Personal

_{[edit] i've been veggie for over a year now. so much for phases.

just to be polite, brb. I'm not ignoring your comments. If I do come back I'll deffo be with some new work woohoo.

did anyone else see 1 giant leap the other night? pretty awesome stuff considering it's ch4 music.

ohohohohoh go to borders and BUY THIS MAGAZINE dooooo it.

1lastthing.. i'm still impressed

//////////////////////

daily clicks;
» howies (free books)

» formfiftyfive

» it's nice that

» gestalten

» post secret

» know more}</blockquote>

3 Comments

Mood: Triumph
Listening to: lol triumph

my proposal for the 2008 olympics

Apr 10, 2008, 7:10:36 PM by ~meth
Journals / Personal

_{how'd dya fancy a
"Which country's protestors can steal the olympic flame first?!" competition?
Anyone whose been watching the news coverage should know how crazy it was out there and to me it seemed like a sporting event in itself.. You know for a few minutes I entirely forgot about Tibet and was more concentrated on which country was making more of protest

I saw this middle-aged, slightly overweight bald bloke in London get SO close to the torch before a Chinese guard turned round like "SHIT!" and pushed him down lol.

It's so mad seeing all these different countries protesting for the same thing, I don't know whether it's a good or bad thing... I mean the unity and freedom to protest is good but it was handled badly, yakno the riots and everything but sometimes aggression like that is needed to gain the most attention... sooo....

As for whether I think the UK should boycott I'm litterally 50/50, it's too complicated. Does anyone remember EUROVISION 2003?! WTF?? UK was the black sheep of Europe and I reckon if the rest of Europe choose to boycott and we don't (again...) then London 2012 = byeeee bye tax payer's £millions.... I can imagine only British and Kiwi athletes that year (NZ wanting the attention and USA being too large by that point...) At least we'd win

btw I'm joking about America, I know you're sensitive about your moobs.}

</sub>

15 Comments

Mood: Homesick
Watching: MOOBS

"Aussie Soap Drives Men to Genocide"

Apr 10, 2008, 5:42:39 PM by ~meth
Journals / Personal

_{PS. the following rant contains nonsense and hippy politics.

I went home very briefly yesterday for 2-3hrs and ..pffft, the community I lived in is in decline. I saw on news the latest outbreak of suicide bombers are also from West Yorkshire, just like the last batch and the ones before that and it's like WTF and with each "turn" people become more seperated. Like when the London bombings happened, stuff changed so much it was weird.. and I mean on behalf of both "sides" of racism/class/etc.
It seems there's very few people who are honest about the situation, what I find more annoying than the extremists are these whimpy type of people trying to fix things the wrong way. You've got the scared Muslims who don't wanna be isolated so they're sucking up, trying to loosen their own culture and adapt and the scared whites constantly nagging them about what THEY want, which makes the angry white people even more angry and isolates the Muslims further it's like FUUUCK *breathe*.

I know this is probably gunna sound a little "eh" but people are taking things way too seriously, why are people being seperated into little groups and then debated on and examined like some social experiment? Like who reeeally gives a fuck if 87% of Muslims do blahblahblah or 14% of Whites think that 28% of Muslims actually don't like the 25% of Greek that think 10% of America is actually FLAB. (I don't understand what I just typed either...)

Personally, in my eyes there's Rich and Poor. Intelligent and DUMB and those are the only groups I care about. I know this rants a little "oh why can't the world love each other" and all that equality crap but yakno.. I don't think its fair for communities of 10,000's of person's opinions to be altered 'cus of 10's of people who weren't very strong minded yakno?

Am I the only one who thinks this or do you lot think it's better to manage people into social demographics in everyday life?
Maybe I'm just being lazy about it but I cudn't give a fuck about who's who, lifes too short for me to be running round on eggshells round other races & creeds - and being a mix of 3 races and athiest don't help me much either..

BUT saying that, I couldn't be with anyone who was v.middleclass or religious, friends - already have 'em but.. "romantically speaking" nope.. is that hypocritical?

I need a conservative to shake me into some sense.}

THE END

oh and LOL Home&Away mentioned in suicide bomb threat, well done Al Qaeda. Point well made, can't argue with that.

oh shit! I have a Yorkshire accent and just ate poppadoms, best retract on that Al Qaeda statement or I could wake up in Guantanamo .... </sub>

2 Comments

Mood: Homesick
Eating: PUPPADUMMMMMMMS! big ass crisps!

features

Journal Entry: Sat Mar 22, 2008, 12:38 PM

credits | inspiration pt 1 | inspiration pt 2

»blog

Got around to making a "collection" in my favourites of the work that inspires me the most, check em out.
Some goooood stuff. Well it's all good stuff. I only went back about 4 (120 devs) pages thru my favourites so there's a lot lot lot more I missed out.

Oh and Happy Easter to those who celebrate it, I think that's tomorrow? hmm yeah.

»footer

deep, deep sigh.

1 Comment

Mood: Homesick

my first "find"

Journal Entry: Mon Feb 25, 2008, 5:47 PM

credits | inspiration pt 1 | inspiration pt 2

»blog

it's what every so-called conceptual, indie-artist wishes to discover whenever they finally manage to stand outside their unorganised scrapheap of accomodation, preferably something from the 60's, remember how cool the Beatles were? and of course, everyone outside of Phil Ochs loooves Dylan.

but sadly, this isn't Paris and people don't just leave artistic memorabilia in public toilets like they used to, literature about how many inches of cock your girlfriend can get down her throat just isn't interesting anymore.. unless it's 8. that's pretty impressive. don't worry fellas, evolution is a slow process but you'll get there eventually.

ok cut the crap - I'm talking about guys that collect public trash and cherish it for it's hidden social value. yakno, a starbucks container with "beautiful" written on it with coffee, except it's kinda hard to write with coffee if you don't have the right tools...
so it more or less says "be..a ti l l z" I dunno how the z got in there. maybe the owner slipped in attempt to do a kiss.

anyway, I found a sticky note on the back of a bus seat, which at face value was pretty cool until I actually read the contents of that note. someone actually took the time to write a poem (rhyming!) about how I really shouldn't reproduce because it's unfair to the future generation and the bitterness in my blood was genetic.

kinda rude...

_{i've been having some intense dreams lately which are causing me to think of certain things and people who wouldn't usually cross my mind. also keep having repeated dreams of moving to Manchester, 6 months left nooooow.
my just turned 1yr old cousin has also been in and out of hospital lately too and my great nan is going thru radiotherapy BUT another cousin is in boxing national finals.
how're you?}

»footer

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an "idiot", but anyone going faster is a "maniac"?

30 Comments

Mood: Homesick
Watching: GEORGE CARLIN. youtube him.
Eating: quorn, almighty soya. my rebound of chicken.

sooooo...

Tue Feb 12, 2008, 11:23 AM

blog

credits

inspiration pt 1

inspiration pt 2

I dunno what im doing at the moment. I have a lot of things to think through. I'm going to remove my past 5 or so deviations because I didn't enjoy makin them or enjoy looking at the end result, so they're useless. I've kinda turned traditional, maybe i'll scan 'em in sometime.

It's like my attitude has arrived at a point where all I want to do is sit down and stare, yet I'm going through one of the busiest years in my life.

what's the deal?

footer

^{riding a bike she said it's like
cycling in circles with your eyes closed
no hands, blind faith is what she called it man
said life's an ocean with a lot of commotion
once you dive in, yeh it's deep
but if you can swim that aint mattering}

</sup>

13 Comments

Mood: Homesick
Listening to: Living Legends / Sam Cooke

sarrrr-car-zoom & the national front

Journal Entry: Tue Jan 15, 2008, 11:16 AM

sahkazem

Firstly, if you actually pronounce sarcasm in that way you've got a problem...

Secondly, I may've .. may've?
*might've brought some of you to wrongly believe that I campaign for spider rights but honestly I couldn't give a flyinnng fuck what happens to those little BASTARDS. I hate them. I hate hate hate them. if there's anything I hate in this world, it's them. and possibly Hollyoaks.

So, my deepest apologies if you actually thought I was a better person than I actually am. and sorry to any spider activists, just in general really..

People really don't pick up well on sarcasm, at first it was just a virtual thing but its happening more often offline.. don't be so niave!

OH I'm also not in a cult, not at present anyway. But if you own one and are looking for new recruits in the N.England/S.Scotland area then just note me the myspace url and i'll check it out. :]

national front? more like.. irrational cunts! .. er, yeah..

[link]

ok. i'll try keep this rant as open minded as possible and with as little swearing as possible.. but holy shitfucktitwanking-crap what is wrong with you?

"We need to fight to keep the evil of Islam at bay and protect our people. No more immigrants"

Actually, you HAVE to agree with them there, since the whole world turned Islamic I've been shitting myself silly, it's only minutes before they take the UK too.. HEAD FOR THE MOON!!! or is that an evil dirty muslim state aswell?

I can understand it when I see teenagers preaching this crap, they've only known one story and feel in danger but 50/60year old men.. with all your "life experience" are the scraps of humantity, I'm preeeetty sure "god" wanted you to be a cockroach but somehow you managed to earn yourself a human body, good for you though.

but this..
"Making our forefathers proud."
you mean our Viking, Norman and Italian forefathers? I guess history isn't their strong point.

"Single mothers having no morals having relationships with Johnny foreigner confusing the children and creating half breeds who have mixed colour and mixed beliefs. Many of these men's sole aim is to obtain British nationality. This will result in problems in schools, healthcare and also in our communities within 15 years." LOL wtf? where did 15 years come from? whats gunna happen in 15 years... ? is "Johhny Foreigner" (coming from the Jewish name - John) gunna realise he has HIV from his CRAZY bed hopping, die.. and all will be well?

Let's hope so, for a better world for us all. Damn you Jews, coming over here and making our children confused with your wild sex!! bah!

read this

trust nobody. hate everything. be bitter. ... and don't watch hollyoaks.

34 Comments

Mood: Zeal
Listening to: Ben Har, oh wait he's black .. nasty.

progressive electro death reggae pop revival

Journal Entry: Sun Jan 13, 2008, 2:48 PM

everyone's a writer nowadays

spider kick, spider's kicked..
melt the chocolate, oh how they stick.
spider smack, spider's smacked..
spider's on crack in a chocolately trap.
spider snack, spider snack..

..yeah, I started a band. this is just a verse I threw together for the song "Spider Snack". I think it grabs the essence of spider-abuse perfectly, I encourage you all to eat free range spiders from now on.
I originally wrote the lyrics on the back of a cashew nut, from my own cashew garden. How ironic that such lyrics of tragedy can be displayed on smiley nut.

blog

• I'm having trouble choosing between whether I should move to Liverpool or Manchester.

• ..but on the up side I have a pretty cool idea for my latest college project, it's a complex & creative response to a corporate and overdone brief.
Since I've cut back on spending time on personal projects I've been putting a lot more imagination into college projects, which take priority at the moment.

• Thanks to all my new watchers, my list is growing fast despite my lack of updates which is BRILLIANT. So thanks for that and I'll try respond to all messages but someone is clogging my message center lately (~PeerieCat)

read this

Epic ballads by the musical whores
Life is so boring, they project their's onto yours
Hear the anthems of the pepsi generation
See the martyrs of our spiritual degradation

Emotions aren't a product to sell and cannot be consumed

33 Comments

Mood: Zeal
Listening to: Ben Harper - Lifeline album < check it out

Britney's weapons of mass-annoyance

Journal Entry: Fri Jan 4, 2008, 3:05 PM

I hope you all enjoyed your holidays, whatever culture, religion or status of drunk you happen to be

And happy new year, whenever your new year starts.

...and out come the tits

and nope, it's not her flamboyant gay fans. (RE: ) It's the suckers that actually care to see her acting like a human being, granted, not your average person but still a person nonetheless.

Personally I don't care if she sets fire to Lindsay Lohan and uses her own shit to put it out, (kinda like a 2girls1cup scenerio... but the allstar version), in the middle of "imaworthlessproduct BLVD, Hollywood" surrounded by all her equally slimey, half naked, half baked girlfriends and one of evolution's greatest mistakes yet - paparazzi ..

Aslong! as it doesn't come near MY tele..ok my father's television set. That shit doesn't do well with me, I watch the news for News.. not for some chavette walking around with ruined makeup, I can see that for free on my own street.

oh just put her on a mountain in Wales somewhere and be done with it. It's what they did with Tupac, I'm telling ya the bloke's in Wales.. it's the LAST place you'd look for an african american rapper am I right? or just civilisation in general, the mountains I mean, not Wales... *COUGH*

*** I think Britney would take part in a celebrity 2girls1cup, I mean after kissing Madonna.. how bad can a mouth full of turd seem, hm?

Journal

I've been a lazy bugger I know, lazy-bugger.. is that an oxymoron? Anyway, it finally caught up with me when I had to respond to 60-70ish messages (that doesn't include comments) (from just 5-6 days!! so thanks for that :] )
I know a lot of people ignore 'em but I like to personally thank the person by taking time out to visit their profile & gallery and at least contribute something, if I can.

No new uploads due to the fact my cult leader says it's bad for the soul and has ordered I give him all my material possessions, in order to banish the pressures capitalism puts on us westerners. and of course sex is key if one wants to reach true happiness and intimacy with another person.. and I was foolish enough to believe the opposite but I have to do as "TASAN" tells us to do.. and he's a horny bugger! .. uhh, eww..

Anyway, must dash - Tassie (as I call him) is forming a gathering tonight where we'll all take acid and be in our element, naked, free of materialism and clucking like chickens whilst he nicks off with all our ipods.

god, I've lost it haven't I.....

Read This

"To the west you'll find our silicon promised lands where
machines replace our minds for systematic profit plans.

The course of human progress staggers like a drunk
its steps are quick and heavy and its mind is slow and blunt.

I look for optimism, but I just dont know
its seeds are planted in a poison place where nothing grows.."

41 Comments

Mood: Winter Downs
Listening to: Nothington | Authority Zero | Ben Harper
Reading: Idiot's guide to skiing on concrete
Watching: Idiots attempting to ski on concrete

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